its 2:14pm now. 2hrs more to go before heading
for work. despite the condition i am now im
still forcing myself to get my ass off to work. even
though im terribly sick i know i cant stay lazing at home.
my heart has not been at ease since this morning.
boyfriend didnt even call or msg me since yest night.
somehow somewhere i know something's not right.
im having the weirdest feeling ever right now.
i don't know why. i guess im trying to shrug off whatever
disturbing or negatives thoughts i have in my head.
im having the biggest eyebag right now. urgh!

i suddenly feel as though i living in denial.
reason being? well there are too many reasons which
i doubt there is even any need of elaborations.
nonetheless, i am thankful to each and everyone of my
beloved friends who texted me this morning asking how i am.
thanks for your care and concern. its just takes time to stabilize
myself and stand back on my own two feet.
but bottom line is, no matter what happens , if i was given
another chance, i would still sacrifice everything make it work again.
despite everything, i still want to be by his side.
but the feeling of this is killing me.
because now,things arent what they used to be.
no more calls & no more smses from bf.
all i want is another chance to make things right
with you again because i know we dont deserve this.
ive tried to convice you, calls and smses.
the reason why i go to this extend?
cause you mean so much to me.

and now, im back to square one.
failing and failing , time after time.

i was just being sincere to make things right again.
i value this relationship of ours. please dont throw this away.
but if you still firm with this , or you still want to avoid me
then im in no position to hold you back .

i'm really sorry.