honestly, sometimes i start to feel like i cant maintain
the facade any longer. that i may just start to show through.
and i wish i knew what was wrong. maybe something about how
stupid my whole life is. i dont know. why does the rest of the
world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on
sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on? i dont know the answer.
i know only that i can't. i dont want any more vicissitudes.
i dont want any more of this try, try again stuff.
i just want out. ive had it. i am so so tired.
i am twenty and i am already exhausted.

i miss my boyfriend badly.
*sighs*